There are times when something hits you, emotionally, and there is absolutly nothing that you can do to move past the thought. I am struck with one of those emotions right now.

This evening my children and I went for our usual walk to the mailbox. Typically on these walks we see some of the livestock, some creepy crawly insect, and/or at times we will see deer. When the deer see us they usually bolt away or atleast use extreme caution in their actions as they move towar safety. Today we saw a mother deer.

The doe saw us too but was uninterested in the fact we were there. By observing her sniffing the ground and noting the fullness of her utter there was no doubt she was searching for her baby. She walked toward us 20 feet away she stopped. She gazed straight into my eyes as if to ask ‘have you seen my baby?’.  I spoke back to the doe. She then walked to the thick grass and weed area, over to the trees, crossed the driveway to another grassy place where the deer often graze and into a field. As we watched I could not help but think how she must feel.

I grew very sad. Tears filled my eyes. I tightened the hold on my children, one’s hand I was holding, and the other’s foot  as I was carrying them on my shoulders. 

My mind wandered into the thoughts that no parent wants to think.  I reflected on how close I was to miscarrying one of my little miracles. I thought of many others and the struggles they have had or are in the midst of currently in regards to children. I thought of those who have lost a child. I wept. I prayed. I looked to my bible for some comfort.

The story of Jacob and his sons famine which God was using to lead them to be reunited in Genesis chapter 43 was where I landed. Remember some unanswered prayers are leading us to other purposes, other treasures if you will. We must trust in God for only he knows his plan for us.  

Where I find myself stuck is on the attentiveness of this animal. Who is the beast? I happen to know the fate of the baby for which she was searching. A full 24 hours after the baby was separated from its mother and died this ‘beastly’ mother still frantically searches for her baby. In the world we live in there are children sufferring in homes where they fend for themselves, where they are left unattended, or even tortured by who is supposed to be nurturing them.

When I get stuck on stuff like this I take this as God’s way of saying to me do something about it…